Final Decision.

Yes the Final Decision that I've finally decided.

Related to 2 things. (:

Firstly, its about my future. Hehe. Finally made up my mind. Not going to be influenced by anyone anymore. Gonna register soon @ UTAR sungai long. I believe this is the right path for myself. Hehe. Going for the open day on the 28th as everyone knoes. Hmm, I hope my choice is what God leads me to. *winks*

Gonna be missing all the people in TARC. Especially DIN fellas. Omg. Really gonna miss you guys. ='( The 3 groups that combined together to form in a Big family. Will really miss Group 3 and Group 1 people. Group 3 although stil left some of them I'm not so close with but still will remember u guys. =) Group 1 peeps! hehe. You guys used to be the most noisiest group among the 3 groups. Hoho. =P I will missh u fellas! >.<

Since I'm from Group 2. Thanks for everything. The cooperation and spirit in this group. Thank You for all the outings that we used to have and I know I will miss it badly! =(

Will really miss the time spending with all of you. For some of them that is not in my course.

Besides DIN. Some of them are DFIs, DBUs, DLMs and DMKs are those ppl I'm close with the most. =) I will not forget you guys as well. Esp the DFI 9 guys including IAN CHOW YIK YIEN! =P

All my best wishes to all of you. No matter you are staying in Tarc or going somewhere else to further the studies. I pray that God will bless you guys along the way step by step untill we finally come out and to face the real working society.

Work with confidence and strive for your future and dreams that is ahead, Peeps! (:

Alright. The 2nd thing that I've decided. Before I talk about it. I will swear and promise that I will not mention about Him regarding this matter anymore. Hmm, last few nights I finally know something that really broke my heart. I thought I will not have any big reaction when I know about it. I didn't know he already hated me. Don't even wanted his frens to mention about me infront of him. Sigh. What more can I do?! Helpless, Hopeless I would say. I went offline when I received the news. So i thought nothing. I would rather go to bed and forget everything. Who knows, when I lied down on the bed, my tears started flowing down. Sigh. Again I've lost to my friends. Because before this my college babes looked down on me. They said I can't let go of him yet. That night proves it all. The 2nd time I cried so long. I can really feel the pain. It is indescribable I would say. Then, I talked to Miss Pivoinne Leong. Since she knows all bout us.

She told me alot of things. She keep asking me to let go. She goes like, "Amanda, he is not the right man for You. Just let go of him." I replied her. Wow, this phrase is so hard to go through! Its harder than having resit papers in exams. Again, I'm getting worst than before. You know why??! The fact that I havent even go into a relationship with him, I already felt so deep. If falling for someone I already couldn't stand the pain. Then I doubted whether do I still able to fall for anyone in the future??! Haihs. Who doesn't want to let go of someone who is not into u at all and seriously hopeless.

I keep asking myself, what more am I waiting now?! Infront of me alot of holes, but I still wana step into it. Its all my problem. I wont blame him. I can never hate him either. I dunno why and I hate this feeling, so much! Haihs. What is my intention to write all this out??! I can be sure he must be thinking, I'm writing all this bullshit just to let him feel guilty and tell the whole wide world of how bad he was??! NO! NO! NO! Not at all. I never blame him. I know I understand why he hated me. Why he stopped contacting me. The reason is because he already had enough, he got so annnoyed by me. I made it till we couldn't continue on our friendship. Blame it all to my childishness. Yes, even a thousand of apologies it wouldn't turn back something I've done. I know why he is mad at me. I know. I will never talk about this thing anymore. I crossed my heart, I PROMISE. This will be the last time.

I just wanted to tell him. I appreciate this friendship. If u insisted to hate me. I can't do anything. I know how leos reacted. I'm here to say a really big SORRY to you Mr. K. Sorry for my childishness all the stooopid things that I've posted on Facebook, Msn and also in this blog all this while. I understand how irritated am I. I won't repeat this stupidity anymore. I promised. I never thought that you could forgive me or talk back to me. Maybe I've made u disappointed. I know you too appreciate this friendship before all the chaos that I've created. Just like you told me before, after I left TARC u will definitely miss someone like me who can talk to u this much. Now the only way I could talk to u is through my blog. Coz I know u will not reply me. And now I've lost a wonderful friend like you.

Its really my lost. Loosing someone who used to cheer my day up.

I doubted will I still be able to stay Happily without a friend like you???

) :

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A Big THANK YOU to You...

*For recommending me songs that are so nice, Japanese songs, Jay albums, and esp the Westlife and 1 litre of Tears that u burned for me.

*For hanging out with me for movies, Sing K, dinner and alot more.

*For recommending me to work as a partimer in Omniview.

*For treating me for few times already, Souled Out, BBQ Plaza, the sushi king jelly, etc.

*For sharing with me all our common interest.

*For organizing the IPOH trip with me 2 few months ago.

*For advising me and cheering me up whenever I'm down, sad.

*For calling me on my birthday. No matter u're the 1st or last to call and wish me, I still appreciate it so much. Even the present is just a CD. I still find it special. Coz its from you.

*For giving me so much of laughter when we were chatting each time.

*For being a friend which I treasure much of you.

Thanks for being a FRIEND of me before...

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Ps : Once again I'm so sorry Mr. K. I know you will not forgive me anymore.

Few more days before I ended my time in Tarc. I will try to avoid from seeing you, coz I know u wouldn't wana see my face that u hated. sigh.

Dun worry, I will never disturb nor bother u anymore.

All my Best Wishes to you, lil Genius. God Bless! =)

GoodBye.

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[Amanda-Licious]

"The Very Last Time"