Its rather disappointing that the one u expected to be your role model is not showing you good examples. Sometimes you do need people who sees and understand the whole situation to back up you. Maybe I should rephrase this, needed someone closer to give more guidance, advices that motivates you. Sad to say your attention never be me. Things that u should care for, u didn't really do, whatever things that in relation to the one who is so important to u now, u would care so much more than the one u should be. Maybe u are becoming more and more depending on him nowadays. Which I think is not a really good thing. Still remember one Sunday pastor mentioned this, "We don't need anyone to makes us feel happy, happiness comes from your heart but not from anyone else. " It struck me the minute I meditate in this sentence.
Always hope that u will be stronger than me. Focus more on what is even more important to u. This world is not only u and him alone. There are still a lot people called family and friends. What really matters is how u yourself live with the human nature that surrounds you but not how u let them to control you and your feelings. No matter how things have let u down try not to stay put there and ended up emotional and then keep going deep deep down. Always wish that u would influence me more of the positive side. Stay happier, not let the downside pulls u down.
This is not about jealousy nor being judgemental, just what I noticed and what has been in my mind all this while.
Anyhow, things won't always go well as what we expected and how we wanted it to be crafted.
Its a matter of leaving it, accepting it or changing it.
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